Signed, A Survivor

Kim Mathis, the Director of Focusing Families in our area, began the annual fundraiser explaining that a survivor would not be speaking to us tonight personally because the safety of the battered women and abused children was a number one priority of the organization; however, on the enormous screen behind Kim, countless testimonies from abused women who had experienced the support of the agency, some who might not be alive today had it not been for Focusing Families, screamed for our attention as the painful reality of their lives shook many of us out of a comfortable apathy of our normal, everyday routine and reminded us that the world is a needy place. Kim was right. One survivor did not speak to us last night; countless voices, however, were heard, and all their heartfelt comments were signed, “Survivor.” One word which says all that needs to be said and reminds us all that still needs to be done.

I’ve heard Kim, a poignant and powerful speaker, tell many stories about the desperate people who come to the agency for help. I’ve heard her speak about  family members forcing a younger sister on the street to prostitute, wives being infected with HIV from their husbands, women repeatedly fleeing from abusive partners, financial worries that inevitably keep many from leaving, and fearful worries about custody battles. The stories always have one thing in common: a life that needs hope and help to survive.  

As I watched the screen scroll with grateful comments from the survivors, I wondered which face belonged to the comment, “I felt so desperate and frustrated” and which battered wife commented how wonderful it was to “talk to someone who did not judge me.” I applauded the agency as I read one survivor’s testimony, “Y'all were strangers, but you helped me so much” and the one who wrote, “As a result of your service, I am not alone.” And I cheered when I saw, “If by some chance I make a lot of money, I’ll give a bunch to y'all. I could never repay you!”

I think their words were payment enough as appreciative comments continued to flow from the screen from women who don’t feel alone anymore and who feel “stronger and safer and secure” and even get “a little better sleep at night” because of Focusing Families. Women whose voices were heard by someone willing to listen, a critical necessity for many whose world is falling apart and whose family now doesn’t have to run.  

According to these survivors, the staff’s availability and kindness were at the heart of their actions and provided “the light at the end of the darkness” and peace as well as practical help.  

I was enlightened, too, as I read another survivor’s words of appreciation for just being treated “normal.” Apparently, what was normally “normal” for her was not anything like the normal I take for granted each day.   

And as I do at each Focusing Family event, I perused the room, wondering how many victims of sexual assault or domestic violence might ironically be attending this fundraiser, women and men who wear a disguise we all wear at one time or another, not necessarily of abuse, but a mask that says our world is all right when it’s exactly the opposite. And I was reminded, once more, of Kim’s comment, “We can’t peg a victim.”

And I was also reminded that lives are at stake each day. That it isn't just good to stay focused on Jesus, but it's extremely important to keep my eyes firmly fixed on Him. To invest my time on His behalf.  To care. To do what I can to help others survive.

Grateful for someone willing to listen, one survivor summed up the night with the words, “Thank God he has given me people to help.”  Signed:  A Survivor.

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Mission statement:  Focusing Families Crisis Center is a nonprofit organization committed to strengthening individuals, families, and communities through education, prevention, and intervention to eliminate family violence sexual assault and other crisis issues.

Services provided:  crisis hotline, crisis intervention, individual counseling, support groups, accompaniment services, legal advocacy, emergency shelter, community and professional education.

Focusing Families also operates a resale store, accepting new and gently used items. All proceeds from the store are used for the continued grow of the domestic/sexual violence victim services. All donations are tax exempt. 979-826-8024

Focusing Families/Po Box 1053/Hempstead, TX  77445/979-826-0332

Crisis line: 979-826-0000

 www.focusingfamilies.org

*Information taken from last night's Focusing Families fundraiser.