A Treasured Gift

I remember the first Christmas after my dad died. I remember wanting to stay home and not go anywhere; but that didn’t help. I remember my uncle and aunt coming from Corsicana so my mom, sister, and I wouldn’t have to be alone; but that didn’t help. I remember my mom letting us open gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day; but that didn’t help.  I even remember getting my Santa Stocking early; but that didn’t help either. Nothing helped. Nothing eliminated the pain of missing Daddy. For any of us. I still remember how awful  that time was.

And I still miss my dad. It’s still awful. I’m sorry that Daddy and my husband, Ian, didn’t have time together because they would have loved each other as father and son. I’m sad that our sons, Reid and Will, who are both named for my dad, didn’t have his influence in their lives.  And I’m disappointed that Daddy wasn’t here to advise me during my many mistakes for he was a man of wisdom. I deeply miss my dad.

But at the same time, I’m glad I miss him because he was a man worth missing. A man worth the pain of not having now for when we did have him, he filled our life with all that was good. An extraordinary man, he walked with God. And he’s a man I’ll see again one day.

I think about my dad all the time, but during this season of giving, I miss him even more for his life was a special gift to my mom, my sister, and me. Regardless of how much I miss him, however, that’s who he will always be.  A gift I’m grateful to have received. A gift I continue to treasure.