I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!
Becky Bader
Sliding down a snow-covered mountain face-first on those big black inner tubes was a highlight on our family’s Seattle vacation. After visiting the quaint town where Northern Exposure was filmed, we stopped sightseeing to see if tubing was as much fun as we thought it would be. And it was! After a thrilling ride down the mountain, we’d grab this rope-pulley contraption which pulled us back to the top of the mountain, where we’d slide down once more. Over and over and over again.
Having too much fun to stop, we kept tubing even when our strength was zapped and our arms were weak, making it difficult to hold on to the rope. Eventually, the inevitable happened, and Ian’s arms gave out and he let go. Since he was almost to the top, the people hanging on behind him were in trouble, desperately trying to avoid being hit by Ian – a rather large guy – who first bounced into one, then the other, before eventually knocking people all over the place on his out-of-control trip down the mountain.
And he hit them all, causing them, in turn, to let go of the rope and hit other people on their own out-of-control trip down the mountain. The cacophony of screaming and yelling was frightening as men, women, and children on run-away tubes flew all over that mountain. When Ian finally made it to the bottom, the last person he hit and sent into a nasty, muddy, slushy low spot was our son Will, who has not forgotten one minute of it.
Ever the gentleman, Ian was calling -- I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” – all the way down the mountain.
In the Bible, when King David sinned, he knocked people all over the place, yet there was one time -- with Bathsheba -- when he wasn’t apologizing. Figuratively, he’d hit one person, then another, then another. And all the people he hit would hit someone else. Bathsheba. Her husband and her father. David’s soldiers and their families and their children. David knocked people all over the mountain, but we don’t hear him crying, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” on his way down. Only when he finally reaches the very bottom does he admit he’s at fault and asks forgiveness.
But once he did, he didn’t make excuses. He didn’t pull an Adam and blame “that woman” nor did he blame God for making him king in the first place; he simply asked forgiveness, facing God with the truth of what he had done. Finally. “I’m so sorry.”
And God, in his loving-kindness, has a remedy for David, and that remedy is to grant the forgiveness David so desperately needs. God is serious about forgiveness.
My sweet friend Paula McNeely told me about a lady in her jewelry business who begins her quiet time with the following prayer: “Lord, change my mind over anything in which I don’t agree with you.” David acknowledged his sin and asked God to change him. And God did, creating in David a clean heart.
Scripture tells us to forgive those who wrong us; but the Bible stories also show us what to do when we’re the ones wronging others. David’s story is one of them. “Lord, I’m so sorry. I am the man. It was me.”
Most assuredly, it’s easier to ask forgiveness from our friends and family after we’ve first received forgiveness from God.
In the book Shame and Grace, author Lewis Smedes titled a chapter, "Singing Amazing Grace Without Feeling like a Wretch!" I think David aced that one for God’s grace came graciously to him and when God gives grace, wretchedness gives way to gratefulness, forgiveness, and relief. Forgiveness is lighten up – God style! And David did lighten up and began to live his life once more even with the devastating consequences that inevitably followed.
In Psalm 51, David prays, “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving-kindness.” God is a kindly giver of love and of forgiveness. And David, regardless of his sin and its aftermath, knew he was “blessed” for God forgave his sins (Psalm 32:1).
And since God is an unchanging God, David’s story reminds us that when we, too, make mistakes, God desires to see us change in the best way possible, the change to become more like Jesus, which many times begins with the words, “I’m so sorry.”
*An excerpt from Ch. 16 - "Bathsheba: Scent of a Woman" - from Like a Sweet Fragrance
Reader Comments (2)
Thank you Becky for your beautiful stories. I look forward to them so much!
Thank you, Beth, for your kind words. I so appreciate you reading mine. God is so good, isn't He?